Review

      My financial aid went through and it even paid for my books! My books came to six hundred dollars, I can't believe that. My books cost as much as my four classes. I am hoping that I get a check with the rest of the money so I can buy the laptop that I want. Idealy, I would like a mac so I can use it to edit pictures for my mom's photography business. I am just excited that I am finally in school. I am really nervous to be starting a new school in a brand new state, but who knows maybe it will open me up more and make me more out going. I have not checked out my teachers like I have in the past. The reason being I don't want to get psyched out, I already know that they are going to be hard and I don't need to add to it. I did get two emails from my teachers and the one sounded really nice and the other sounded like a hard ass. Although it could just be that she trying to prepare us so we don't feel lost, but it is my accounting class and I am bad at math. I can't wait until I just get started, so I can get rid of this anxious feeling.
       I went to the doctors again for my stomach, and saw a different doctor and she gave me yet again a new medicine. It kind of irritates me, that as soon as I tell them my issue they automatically say that I have IBS without testing me for anything else. This doctor gave me a medicine for heartburn, but I heard it really works. I guess I will find out since I start taking it tomorrow. I just want what anybody else wants and that is to feel better. Although lately I have been getting headaches and peeing a lot. Chase thinks that I could be dehydrated. I have been trying to drink more water to try and make it better. If it doesn't start getting better, I am going to go to the doctors again, I don't care if they keep getting on their nerves. I am going to take advantage of this free health care while we still have it.
       I am starting to feel dizzy and light headed so I am going to call it a night. I will write again probably after my first class on Tuesday. Hoping it goes well, keeping my fingers crossed!

One day at a time

 I have been neglecting this. Not that anyone really follows me anyway but it makes me feel better to write, it is my cheap therapy. My mom came down and we had an absolutely amazing week. It was so nice to see her, it was like a piece of home was in Texas with me. She is my best friend, it felt like I had never left. I was really sad to see her go but now I can look forward to her and my dad coming back for Thanksgiving. We aren't going to be able to make it home for Christmas because the flights are really expensive. That's okay though soon after Christmas Chase and I will be making plans to go home for good. Speaking of going home I am really nervous about it. It seems like some of my friends have forgotten me. It would just be nice to know that they are occassionally thinking of me. Instead they feel the need to text me and tell me about them. I love to hear about other people but it would be nice to be recongized once in awhile. I know I can't dwell on it because I don't know where they are going to be in their lives when I get back but it is still nerve racking.

   On a brighter note there are a few things that I am excited about. I start school in a week. I checked out the campus today and it is amazing! I have to go tomorrow and make sure my financial aid is going to pay for it, I am keeping my fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong. Another thing is that my baby niece clara is going to be born soon in December. I got to watch the gender reveal on the webcam, wish I was there. can't wait to see my older niece and my nephews when I get back they are getting so big so fast! I also went shopping today. If you know me, you know I don't like to shop because I hate my body. It doesn't matter what other people tell me. It only matters how I see myself. This has been a forever battle with myself. I have decided that I have enough on my plate then to worry about what I look like 24/7. As long as we eat right and I exercise a couple times a week, I should be less hard on myself. So I bought two pairs of jeans and two polos. It was hard to see the sizes that I was wearing but life isn't about a number it is about living and I am going to take full advantage of it!

   Back to something serious, my uncle is on life support. He was hit by a car they are assuming it is a hit and run. I don't know why someone was just walk away from that. Although he is showing some signs of improvement, but he does have brain damage. I am so hopeful for him and hope he knows that he has people around him that love him dearly.

Lesson of the week: Relax and take one day at a time. That shouldn't just be the lesson of the week it should be my motto. I am slowly learning how to do this and not worry about everything and everyone that is around me and not around me.

Problem Week

    In my last post I was talking about how we were going to move back into the apartment that I was living in before I left to come to Texas. As most things that has changed, we are not going to live there. My parents have decided that they are going to rent it out due to some recent things that have happened. I am okay with it, we are going to look into some places into the county. It is scary in a way because we are starting over again. One good thing is that we have some things to start out with. I am a little worried about money, but then again who isn't. They are starting to get all Chase's certifications together and start his resume. I am so excited to get back and get involved with the business but I will be working a lot more then I am getting paid because it will basically like an internship learning how to run the business. Running a small business can be very unstable so that is why it is so important that Chase has a good job so we aren't always worrying about money like we are now. I know we are doing better then others but I want to do better for us. It is very different for me to depend on someone else for money. I have always made my own money and I was the one that was offering it to people. I feel like I am being a baby.

   So anyway I have been on this kick to get in shape, no matter what Chase says. I ordered p90x and was not happy with the first workout it was for your back, chest and neck. I really only want it for my stomach. I don't manly arms. It was expensive so we sent it back. My friend Steve said that he would send it to me for free if I wanted to re do it so currently I am waiting for that. I have tried stupid sit ups but I don't know if I am doing it wrong and pulling my neck and hurting my back. The only thing I have stuck to is this mini elliptical that I bought from walmart. But I am trying to eat better, have been living off of celery and peanut butter.

    So I decided I wanted a new look so a new hair would do it. haha not exactly what I was aiming for. Let's just say my hair was black. If you know me then you know I am decently pale and black hair would only bring that out, well it did. Every time I saw myself I cried. I should be used to having hair diasters since they have been happening since I was little. That night I went to walmart and bought 2 boxes of extra blonde and used one box that night. The next morning I used the second one. My hair is almost a light brown. 

Lesson Learned- See the good in a situation, and run with it.